Monday afternoon I took a conference call on the porch and checked emails from the garden beds and pulled resources for colleagues in need. At 12:30 I left to physically be in the office and waved goodbye to the girls at the gate with promises of flying kites in the field that night. When I drove back in at 5:45 they were dressed and holding their kites. We made our way to the farthest end of the property and threw wild flower seeds and watched the kites whip in the wind.

Tired at sunset we made our way back to the house. On Tuesday everyone was out of sorts. Big emotions and tired bodies. By 11 I hit pause on homework assignments and told them to take a break outside. 5 minutes later both girls were crying and I scooped them up and we sat under the shade of the plum tree and I told them we needed to hit reset. I walked down and found Lance sitting quietly at the edge of the greenhouse and had him come up to the house. I made a huge charcuterie board and we sat down for grace.

I left for work and came home with promises to plant sunflower seeds in a row. When I got home Evelyn seemed fine. The girls greeted me at the gate and waited for me to change out of my work clothes. They showed me their creations and I called them for dinner and bath. Evelyn told me she was cold after her bath and was all bundled up in blanket. I was perplexed by her blotchy red body and tired eyes. I held my hand to her head and scrambled to get the thermometer. 103.5 and lethargic. I carried her back to the bath to cool her body and began rewashing her hair for some reason. I found 3 ticks on the back of her head and called for Lance, Amelia lingering behind him trying to hear my whispers.

By now it was 8:45 and I knew we would miss the urgent care by minutes. I called the advice nurse and was told we had 4 hours to find a place to take Evelyn in to be seen. A handful of phone calls later and frantic text to my mom and sisters at close to 10 asking them to pray for Evelyn. I didn’t want to take her to the emergency room, but I couldn’t not take her because she was so sick. Blue cross put me on with an emergency room doctor in California who requested she be seen and assured me that at close to 11:30pm the emergency room was empty and we would be seen right away. I asked what they would do and what she would be given. He went over it with me and then said, “if you can keep her fever down and watch for a rash tonight then take her to the pediatrician first thing in the morning, then you don’t have to bring her right now. If it changes, then straight to Emergency.” Motrin, cool wash cloths, Pedialyte and prayers all night long.

In the morning her fever was holding at 100 and she looked better. Pediatrics got us right in and taught me to look for the signs of Lyme Disease. How high her fever could go before I had to take her to the hospital and how severe her reaction was to 3 tick bites in one location, the lymph nodes down her neck entirely swollen. By noon and a dose of heavy antibiotics she was tired but the fever was gone. By Thursday she was getting her appetite back. Today she was busy and playing. We are still watching her for fever and rash for 27 more days. And she has over a weeks worth of antibiotics to take still.

You guys my heart was wrecked and beating in my ears at midnight with her in my arms. Evelyn hates doctors more than anything and she was terrified and so brave. She asked me what was going to happen and as calm as I could I walked her through it. I was praying and talking to her and singing. As I put on her little slippers and purple sweats for the doctor she looked at me and asked if we could pray, I hadn’t stopped praying, but I took her in my arms and we stopped. We prayed for her protection and healing and future. “Gods got us, Evie, no matter what happens or what we have to do. He already knows.” When we got to the doctors office she looked up at me with big eyes and her little cupcake mask on and whispered, “I am brave. Gods got me.”

It was a long week. With a lot of hard and scary and good and trust and faith. I check her constantly, and she lets me, and she always gives my hand a squeeze and thanks me for doing it. Evelyn laid down in the field to watch her kite on Monday, and on Friday, we are still looking up, so thankful that Gods got us and meets us right where we are every single time.

Evelyn and I ran out to the field in the wind and rain this morning. She splashed in the puddles and Henry couldn’t have been more pleased about it. We collected palm branches from the trees and carried them back in with a bouquet of Calla Lillies and roses.

Amelia and Evie decorated the living room for our online church service, Amelia was the door greeted and seated us on the couch. We watched together under a pile of blankets. My sister came by and dropped off something awesome to help for homeschooling. The girls gave kisses through the window.

It’s been a quiet weekend around the farm. There’s 14 baby chicks in the guest bathroom and there was a package of 3 pounds of live Italian bees on my desk in our office. Alice the kitten likes to stare at them. There’s plants to be planted sitting in the sink. Yet today the rain called us to rest. To be thankful. To Remember that Palm Sunday starts the Holy Week. To play card games and take a nap. I put my new hive up and Lance helped. I was sad my dad didn’t get to come over and help me like I had planned so many months ago. But he called me and I sat at the kitchen table and smiled through our conversation.

Yesterday I doorbell ditched him and my mom and left them things to plant and muffins on their doorstep. I texted them that there were muffins outside the door and sat in my truck at the gravel road so I could see them when they opened the door.

The slowing down has felt welcome, even though it’s been a new dance to learn. The girls greet me at the walk with pictures and tell me about their day and Lance has been helping with the homeschooling in between building the greenhouse and helping me put in a garden. The Earth patiently waiting for us to fill her with beautiful things. It’s all starting to take shape around here. So much work, so much goodness. A welcome place to come in after work and take off my heels and trade them for rain boots. I am so thankful to call this place home and let our girls run wild. I’m also thankful that when we first moved in and I wanted to cut down the palms that we put it on the bottom of our list, because I never would have imagined that almost seven months later the churches doors would be closed during the start of the Holy Week.

Fear not. The church was never the building, and putting Palm leaves down our table today and reading the girls the verse and watching Millie pull out her bible when the pastor pulled out his bible to read from. We were called to worship. To rest. To have faith. To be thankful in this messy place. So when your heart is hurting for the things you’re missing, or when it feels unbearable to think of the hurts and chaos around us. The struggling families. The rise of domestic violence, the sickness and the unknowns, rest in His word. Rest in this week. Let the rain wash over you. Remember, “they laid down their palms, He laid down his life.” The battles already been won.

Faith over fear. Rest over worry. Peace in his presence. Let this week be your reminder.